Touch
by Novoux
Summary: Contrary to popular belief, Izaya doesn't like to be touched. Shizuo decides to find out why. Rated for adult themes of sexual content.


There's nothing on TV worth watching, Shizuo decides as he flips through channels. Decked out in some pajamas without much thought, shorts and a T-shirt, he's boredly flipping through whatever programs are on at night without much luck. Godzilla? No. Sumo? No thank you. Korean soap opera? What?

Scowling, Shizuo switches to search for movies. The hush of the shower filters in his room from down the hall where Izaya is showering before he comes out and joins Shizuo on his apartment floor. They're both without any work to do and on such a rare night, Shizuo doesn't miss the opportunity to invite his tentatively-called boyfriend over. They've been dating, surprisingly (although most people don't realize the outwardly displays of anger are more for show than they are serious anymore) since the last years of high school and while it's definitely an odd relationship, Shizuo isn't sure what to call it. They kiss, they hug, they cuddle...and that's it. Hence why the tentative naming isn't very sure—it's his first real relationship so it's hard to know everything—but they both enjoy it. At least he thinks Izaya does.

Although anything to do with Izaya is a challenge. Kissing is usually either a game for Izaya that isn't taken seriously as much as Shizuo secretly wants it to be (admitting that is more than awkward) or Shizuo has to somehow get him where he can wriggle away. Even then it's just pecks on the lips and the introduction of tongue is almost never. Izaya says it's too gross, Shizu-chan, and Shizuo complies. Moving on to hugging, Izaya outright hates it. Doesn't like it in public where anyone can see them—although Shizuo doesn't either—or in private because he has some strange thing about being touched. Shizuo understands as best as he can, but sometimes (especially when he's just too adorable, thinking hard with a pink tongue perched between his lips) he can't resist pulling Izaya in to him for a couple of moments. Then the squirming starts until finally he gives in. And if Shizuo's lucky, his arms will wrap around Shizuo's neck and pull himself closer.

Cuddling is on another level. Above hugging, but definitely below sex. Actually, far below it to the point it's below making out. (Which Shizuo has always wanted to do but never gets the chance.) Just like hugging, Izaya has some strange issue with touch. Usually, as often as most of the time, Izaya squirms away and prefers to keep at least a foot away from Shizuo at all times. In public, ten feet. Needless to say, it's hard to control himself when all he wants to do is hold on to Izaya and not let the shitty flea go. But Izaya's always refusing, always demanding Shizuo lets go of him which results in having only cuddled officially three times. He's that serious and it's that sad. For him, anyway. What goes on with Izaya he rarely knows.

His fingers twitch at the thought of Izaya in the shower again, wet and hot—

"All done, Shizu-chan." Down, boy. Izaya strolls into the room, rubbing his hair with a smaller white towel and clad in one of Shizuo's shirts and a pair of sweats that sadly drown his legs and keep them from Shizuo. He groans to himself inaudibly, eyes raking over Izaya who doesn't notice or doesn't care and he plops on the ground next to Shizuo. Legs folding in a cross he rests his elbows on his knees, leaning on his hands with a curious expression at the changing movies titles. "What're we watching?" He squints as if he can't believe what he reads. "Godzilla? I didn't know you liked movies that stupid, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo rolls his eyes at the grin that spreads across Izaya's lips but can't help his eyes from wandering over. "No, I don't, flea." Another couple of clicks and it lands on an American one. He's not good with English, having never got an acceptable grade in high school in that class, but Izaya gives a hum of affirmation and so he lets it play. With the opening advertisement clips playing, Shizuo can't help noticing the way Izaya's bottom lip sometimes sticks out in a pout, like it is now and then his tongue darts out to wet his lips when Shizuo realizes he's staring again. It's a common problem Shizuo's caught himself doing over and over again, yet Izaya's never said anything about it. Maybe he's waiting for something—or maybe he thinks Shizuo can handle himself? So confusing.

"Oi, Izaya," Shizuo can't help himself for so long. As expected, Izaya's head turns and the blond's already fisting his hand in his own shirt that hangs off of Izaya too well. He pulls their heads together, brushing a dry kiss against the flea's wet lips, hoping Izaya won't push him off like he always does.

At first the flea doesn't do anything. Shizuo's pressing gently even though he's completely ravenous for more but he doesn't want to risk what he already has. Whatever the reason for Izaya's avoidance he doesn't question. All he wants is to touch and hold and kiss the one person he's stupidly and embarrassingly in love with. Yet he's also neglected to ask why and decides to make it a goal when Izaya responds with careful pressure that is completely unlike him. His kisses, Shizuo knows for a proud fact that he's the only one who does, are completely the opposite of Orihara Izaya. How they're soft and gentle—completely bewildering and frustrating more often during the beginning of their relationship—he doesn't really understand or know. Izaya doesn't ever say anything though, and if Shizuo tries to bring it up then he'll brush it off or start another topic. Completely frustrating although Shizuo can't help his addiction because he keeps wanting more with each kiss he gives and rarely gets.

For some reason Izaya's not pulling away yet which is an unexpected but a very welcome addition. Shizuo _really_ wants more but he has to keep himself contained unlike when they're playing cat-and-mouse games so it's a struggle that takes more than sincere dedication. It takes having to try and ignore the serious attraction to Izaya and not try to let his urges get the best of them and usually has to release his pent-up frustration whenever he throws street signs and vending machines. There's a possibility Izaya knows and even Shizuo isn't sure. Nothing is certain with him, which is a more bad than good thing when it comes to their odd hidden relationship. Carefully Shizuo decides to test the boundaries, pressing a little harder and sucking on Izaya's lower lip.

Izaya makes the most perfect noise he's ever heard with a soft moan, fingers in his lap dropping to the floor. Shizuo manages somehow to lace them with his, stroking the back of Izaya's hand with his thumb and Izaya's fingers tighten when his breath hitches on Shizuo's lips. With all he's getting it's not fair that he wants more and it's quite prominent how much his wants are getting carried away when his shorts are becoming uncomfortable. But that moan that reverberates into his mouth, he can taste it and it's just a sample of Izaya and he wants it all.

Too bad Izaya decides to pull away quickly, if not moving a couple more inches away from Shizuo with a smug smirk and licks his lips with a wink. His cheeks are flushed and hands in his lap, giving one teasing glance to Shizuo before his eyes glue themselves to the television screen as the movie starts. Shizuo wants to groan but settles for a mental sigh because Izaya is such a damn _tease_ and it's just not fair how quickly Izaya can turn him on. Nothing's ever fair with the damn flea if he's the one with Shizuo wrapped around his finger. Hell, he'd kiss the rings Izaya wears just to taste his flesh. Which he's already tried and as always, doesn't work.

"There's a movie playing, Shizu-chan." Izaya comments, never looking away. "Aren't you going to watch it?" _I'd rather watch you, _Shizuo wants to say, but he grunts and mumbles inaudibly pertaining to his cut short chance of finally touching Izaya. He'll bet that the asshole thinks it's hilarious and probably does it on purpose. However he accepts his fate of forever being tempted by Izaya, knowing that at least he can steal a kiss or two more often than not as there isn't much else he can do.

"Why don't you watch it with me?" Shizuo asks suddenly, thinking of a perfect opportunity and pats his thigh in reference. Izaya glances at his hand and his eyebrow rises before he's back to giving a questioning look to Shizuo before he laughs.

"Very funny, Shizu-chan." he giggles in a way that's far too immature for his age but unfairly sexy when he does it, knocking his head back and keeping his distance. The only thing is that it's not meant to be a joke and Shizuo doesn't get what's so funny about it. But then again, this is Izaya.

A couple of minutes slip by without another word and Izaya hums along to a tune that's playing. Shizuo's trying to put together what to say and imagine what Izaya's response would be but it's harder than he originally thinks and it's depressing when he realizes that anything he says can be easily refuted. Keep trying is all he plans to do when he's come to the conclusion that he can't outsmart Izaya with Izaya's game.

"I wasn't kidding. Come here." Shizuo doesn't turn away from the movie he's clearly lost interest with (the English is lost on him) as he tries to play it cool. Somehow his palms start sweating like he's back in high school. This is officially embarrassing.

"Ne?" Izaya's head turns back to him, towel discarded on the floor but his hair still glistens in the light of the television screen. Shizuo swallows roughly. "What do you want, Shizu-chan? I'm trying to watch a movie." Oh come on, he can't be that stupid, can he? No; it's probably just another one of his many games. Shizuo, however, is determined to beat him at it.

"Watch it from here." Shizuo's peripheral gives him undeniable privilege of staring at Izaya's lower lip that's red from being sucked on and his dick twitches much to his disagreement. "I wanna hold you." He really wants to turn to Izaya but he knows he shouldn't or he may just lose his composure.

A shake of the head. "No thanks, Shizu-chan. I'm good." Back to watching the movie with that innocent expression of his. He's got to be planning something or Shizuo's starting to sound desperate. In a way, (more ways than one) he is. What's with him and not accepting anything? Is he some sort of prude now?

"Why not?" The conversation develops unintentionally, but Shizuo can't help the fact he's aroused and (maybe that's why Izaya won't sit with him) Izaya's not giving much of a reason to say no. Of course he respects Izaya's boundaries and wouldn't dare cross them—not just because of the consequences—but the flea should know how much Shizuo loves him to accept what he is and his wants. When he thinks about it, it's unintentionally degrading how Izaya can simply discredit how much Shizuo cares for him.

"Shizu-chan," Izaya sighs, turning away from the television again and looking bored. "What are you trying now?" Something in English is being shouted by the main character and Izaya, who was once preoccupied with watching the apparently interesting movie is completely tuning it out.

"Trying?" Slightly offended or not, it's not something he's willing to shake off so easily as he is stubborn. "What the hell, flea. I just want you to come sit with me; not like I'm going to bash your head in."

"Whatever, Shizu-chan." He clicks his tongue with a sigh and it's enough to light off a fuse or several before Shizuo can stop himself. Izaya moves his head back to the television but it's obvious that neither of them are paying attention. Shizuo's blood is at a rolling boil, seeing red seep in his eyes like the stop signs that are Izaya's and he can't take this anymore. The teasing, the flirting that goes beyond regular flirting, it's too much for someone who acts like he doesn't know what he does. So he lunges forward, effectively pinning Izaya to the ground faster than Izaya's reflexes can save him and with his hands he keeps Izaya's wrists out to leave him vulnerable. Make him feel just how annoying he is and let him suffer with the consequences of all the teasing. He hates when Izaya brings games in private when they're not fun anymore while he just wants to at least have the flea to himself instead of another facade.

"Get off!" Izaya immediately erupts into squirming under Shizuo's hold, trying to wring his feet free while Shizuo keeps him pinned with a foot. He's useless against Shizuo's superior strength and his scrawny body but it doesn't mean he stops trying by thrashing about. "What are you doing!? It's not funny, Shizu-chan!" he complains angrily with a bite to his words. The blond's grasp is almost bruising as he waits for Izaya to calm down (giving in to him when he knows he can't win. It's a dangerous game when cornering a wild animal.) so he can talk. It's the only way the shitty flea will listen to him besides making Izaya angry, which in reality is much harder to do than it looks. A sure-fire way is taking his control away. Completely. So he's entirely helpless against what he's helped create and Shizuo tells himself Izaya deserves it when his rage is only building. He can't go throwing Izaya into walls when it's not what he wants. But he can't let him off that easily.

"Let go let go let go!" Izaya snaps as his thrashing weakens, tiring himself—his face is red almost like his eyes—until he can't fight anymore. "What are you doing!? Get off, you devolved amoeba!" Shizuo, for a fraction of a second worries that Izaya might start hyperventilating if he doesn't calm down. It's happened before when he's held the louse down for too long and he eventually hyperventilated himself into nearly passing out. That isn't Shizuo's goal, though.

"Calm down." Shizuo instructs, forcing himself to listen to his own words when his anger's starting to get out of control. "I won't do anything to you 'cause it's not fair. But calm down first."

Izaya snarls, lips curling up as he does. "Calm down? Shouldn't you be the one calming down, you stupid brute!" In truth he's already exhausting himself and he knows he's not going to get out of this. But Shizuo holding him down when he clearly has the upper hand isn't fair. It's a dirty tactic and of course Izaya's angry he's been served with his own ploy. "Get off of me!" His face is turning a darker shade of red and that fear of asphyxiation may be reality.

It takes a lot longer for the flea to lose his breath enough to forfeit struggling. Already with being unwilling to listen he makes Shizuo tighten the hold on his wrists to the bruising point (his bones are complaining) and Izaya can't remain calm when his control is taken away from him. That's a fact Shizuo's always known after one time (that's all it took) and he knew from then on to not forget or face a switchblade too close to his face or dick. Not a pretty sight to think of.

And here he is, pinning down Izaya even when Shizuo knows it's one of the worst things he can possibly do to him. It shows, too, with the gleam in Izaya's eyes that isn't amusement or mirth. If anything, it looks like something animalistic because he's never seen it before.

Shizuo reluctantly—he's actually concerned he might do something he'll regret if this isn't it already—loosens his grip, giving Izaya the ability to break free but he keeps the flea's tensing legs pinned down or his genitals would have an increased risk of injury. Izaya on the other hand is already out of breath and he pants harshly after going spastic when suddenly pushed over and tackled by Shizuo. His wrists, already bruising (oops) lie still under Shizuo's hands, resting in the curve of fingers while he tries to regain his breath. That glimmer in his eyes is still there and his eyes are suspiciously brighter by a tiny amount that normally if he doesn't look for it he won't find it. Shizuo narrows his eyes, examining where he's seen something like that when it's not familiar on Izaya and suddenly it clicks.

Oh shit.

"Shit, Izaya, I'm sorry." he quickly apologizes, releasing Izaya's right wrist in his left hand to cup his boyfriend's cheek. And he slightly expects the punch that comes shortly after and doesn't bruise his jaw when his body is tougher than a regular persons'. At the price of attempting to hurt Shizuo, Izaya's knuckles split on the rough skin, pooling with drops of blood in the small splits in his skin. Izaya's still panting albeit softly now and Shizuo recognizes the glint in his eyes with a guilty conscience.

It's fear. Mixed with the salty liquid they both know is betrayal. Shizuo feels like an utter idiot for what he's done now—it wasn't his intention and he thought—because he just betrayed the unspoken trust between them. It's taken so long to finally have Izaya trust him due to the fact he never trusts anyone. And when he finally has it, he blows it by forcing him into something he hates. Now he recognizes the bitter taste of guilt registering as his fault and knows that the tears are the same pain he feels when Izaya pushes him away. His words can lie, Shizuo knows, but he's the only one who can see that Izaya's eyes (danger lights, like the lights at airplane towers saying _danger, danger_) can't hide anything. The first time he notices this is every time they fight and he finally gets the chance to meet Izaya's gaze.

That's when he realizes that the self-proclaimed god is more vulnerable than he wants to be.

"Hey, don't cry." Shizuo moves off of Izaya and carefully pulls him up while he's as stiff as a board. His voice is much softer, only reserved for the person he loves so much it hurts. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to freak you out like that." When Izaya's still breathing hard and unnaturally silent, Shizuo takes the initiative to wrap an arm around his boyfriend, keeping his hold gentle and parts his legs so he can pull Izaya to sit in between them. The other hand goes up to Izaya's face and his thumb strokes Izaya's cheek.

"I'm not crying, idiot." he retorts, anger still evident in his voice. It's obvious to them he's still shaken up and even more when it takes a moment to gather himself. "What were you hoping to gain by pinning me down, hm? Because I'm already disappointed in your brutish behavior." The movie plays on in the background but all that matters in the world is the two of them. Shizuo knows he's crossed the line too far and it doesn't sound like him to anyone else or even himself, yet when he and Izaya are alone and he lets his walls down, it's in the decimal range of percentages. It's not much and Shizuo never knows, but it's more than anyone else gets. Izaya has been betrayed by too many people in life that he doesn't care to lose anything but his control. Shizuo has been trying to teach Izaya how to rely on him, which he knows will take more than only the years they've been together.

"I'm sorry," Shizuo murmurs, letting his forehead rest against Izaya's. Red eyes keep blinking to try and hide what Shizuo sees but there's no use. Although they're at their regular shine now, Shizuo can still see the tears and the guilt gnaws at him. "You have every right to be mad at me. I screwed up and I deserved that punch." He checks Izaya's eyes and when he finds nothing besides the anger that is rightfully deserved before he speaks again. His left arm around Izaya retracts so he can grasp the bleeding fingers of Izaya's right hand. "But hear me out. I wanted you to listen to me because you keep ignoring everything."

Izaya is silent, glaring intensely although he doesn't make a move to leave Shizuo's arms. If anything, his eyes are half-lidded and he looks so beautiful (he does all the time anyway, but it's moments like this where Shizuo finds himself startled at times) when he leans—cautiously—into Shizuo's hand. It's a first the blond's not about to forget with Izaya's issues on touching and he can't believe his luck. Izaya, if he hears this, would chastise him for believing in such a stupid thing.

"You okay?" Shizuo asks when he already knows the answer he's going to get. Izaya snorts quietly, blinking and his eyes are slow to open.

"Fine. Get on with it, Shizu-chan."

"I love you," he begins slowly, "and when you push me away, I don't know what to do. It's not like I understand you very well or we've gotten close as others would be in the time that we've been together. And I have no idea what you're thinking unless you tell me." Taking the opportunity presented before him, Shizuo leans in a little further to press his lips against Izaya's, moving slowly to try and get him to respond. At least Izaya gingerly kisses back until Shizuo pulls away to plant a kiss on each cheek. Red eyes roll at the open display of affection but something tells Shizuo that Izaya doesn't mind as much as he reacts.

"You hate touching. No kissing, no hugging, no nothing. And I don't know why, but I try to give you your space because if I don't, you'll make me. It's hard, y'know, when you flirt with me and then refuse to let me...uh..." he trails off, unsure how to put "I get hard and I want to touch you even more" into more fluent wording. He's not great with not being blunt like Izaya is.

"Have sex?" Izaya nearly spits the words like poison and it's interesting he talks about it (Shizuo would've assumed he wouldn't care as much, but Izaya happens to be more complex than that) with almost contempt in his voice. Shizuo momentarily loses his voice because that's _exactly _what he means.

"Basically, yeah." Somehow he's forgotten his somewhat there erection and it chooses now to bounce back, quite literally. He groans to himself and he thinks it's silent, but the amused brow raise Izaya shoots him means not quite. "Is there a reason why you don't want me to touch you? It's practically impossible not to when you're all I think about. But even if you don't want to, it won't change anything." Great; now he sounds like a sap.

Izaya laughs at this and it's probably Shizuo's favorite sound tied with the moan he made earlier. "How eloquent, Shizu-chan. Talking about what beasts do and trying to sound romantic. I'm swooning." Bitter humor back in play Shizuo knows Izaya's not too angry at him for the stunt he pulled earlier.

"Do you not like when I touch you? When I hold you?" Shizuo doesn't mean to sound desperate (he's trying to save himself from sinking so low before) but he's genuinely curious and he doesn't know if Izaya will ever tell him. Somehow he hopes he's privileged enough because when it comes to Izaya, he can never know until Izaya says.

Contrary to his belief, Shizuo hears Izaya mumble something he doesn't quite catch. But when he asks to hear it, Izaya shoots him a strangely ruthless glare although the tips of his ears, Shizuo notices, are burning. His red eyes divert from the brute's gaze and Shizuo, already excited to get to see more than just Izaya's ruthless side, (in one night, too!) starts to understand Izaya won't explain it himself. So he opts himself to do it.

A quick press of his lips to the flea's and he keeps moving slowly against him, feeling Izaya stiffen from stifling a flinch and when he finally moves against Shizuo's, the blond pulls away. His ears (God he's adorable) are still burning. "You like when I kiss you, don't you." But then an adventurous idea hits him and he presses his lips to the corner of Izaya's mouth, trailing down to his jawline where Izaya abruptly interrupts.

"S-Stop it, Shizu-chan." he squirms. "I don't want to fuck you." His face is flushing a darker shade of red from the blush he can't stop from spreading. The choice of words isn't forgone when Shizuo takes a moment to process what he says.

"Who said anything about fucking?" Izaya's lips pull into a kissable pout Shizuo has to resist the temptation. It's almost too much. "This isn't fucking, Izaya. You know that." _It's making love_, he says to himself and the embarrassing thing is that's how he romanticizes it. Izaya looks scandalized.

"I know, Shizu-chan." he sounds exasperated if it isn't the blush that gives him away but he scowls nonetheless. "I don't have a taste for giving myself up for anyone. Even you." It sounds harsh but the words _please understand _are in a definite—_not_—plea. The idea of having to surrender his control is intangible. He can't do it and when Shizuo's already held him down (look how that turned out, Shizu-chan; why are you still asking about something that's exactly the same thing?) and although he's the best informant and a master manipulator, when it comes to something as...humiliating as the act of sex, he doesn't want to imagine it. A shudder crawls down his spine.

Shizuo has a funny look on his face that makes Izaya anger him and it's because he'll stop disproving that he's a monster if he does things like this. Stop it, Shizu-chan. Stop doing human things because you're not supposed to be human. But he opens his mouth anyway and the incredulous look on his face makes his next words sound almost interesting to hear. "Flea, sex isn't giving up anything. You don't take and I don't take from you unless you or I want to give. Fucking isn't even that either. What takes when you don't want it is rape. And I'd never do that to you; you know that." His left hand is massaging Izaya's fingers gently as he speaks and the image of a monster is hanging in the balance. Izaya hates this—hates the weakness and Shizuo's just being what he's not supposed to be and it's humiliating. He doesn't want to hear this. Shizuo's a mushy romantic and it's disgusting how much _love _he has for him.

"I have an idea." Izaya's not sure how to come up with a good response. His stomach's churning in some weird sensation that is entirely unpleasant and the intensity of Shizuo's eyes on him is doing more than it should be. But he doesn't expect Shizuo's next words to come so easily as if they're talking about the weather. "I can show you."

Izaya gives this blank look that's slightly unnerving. Okay, more than that and borderline deflating to his self-assurance. He quickly explains when he thinks Izaya isn't understanding the way he's supposed to. "If you don't want to, I get it. But let me ask you if you feel something." With a brush of his lips their lips are together and Izaya's response is almost immediate—that's different. Remembering what he did earlier he nibbles at Izaya's bottom lip, sucking and massaging. The moan that comes after is low and throaty, which means it's working and he almost wants to smile to himself in victory but focuses on the task at hand.

Shizuo detaches from Izaya's lips, looking swollen already and he trails down the jawline like before, sans interruptions. This time Izaya's head tilts to expose more of his throat (Shizuo is inwardly cheering until he realizes how weird that is) and Shizuo generously lays claim to what's _his_. Moving downward he reaches the juncture of Izaya's collarbone and throat, pressing a little harder and another moan comes unabashedly from Izaya. If he looks up he'll see the dusting of red on Izaya's cheeks and the barely open eyes, focused on him and his lips are parted and glistening with Shizuo's saliva. The thought makes him even harder while he's licking and sucking Izaya's neck, drinking in the moans that rumble in his Adam's apple. But he can't let this continue—his erection's straining against his shorts and Izaya's lucky he's wearing sweatpants. So he has to pull away from the bright red mark he's left on Izaya's neck and swallow the saliva gathered in his mouth.

Izaya isn't as lucky as him with being able to control himself. The first signs Shizuo recognizes are how wide his pupils are blown and they swallow most of the red in his eyes. They're molten and burning with lust because Shizuo recognizes it so well after years of not having his sexual attraction returned. Izaya's face is flushed a light crimson and his ears match the color of his cherry red lips, parted to suck in shaky breaths. But he's barely keeping himself under control, looking uncomfortable because of his own reactions and Shizuo can see that he wants more but hesitates. The answer to his previous question, then, is a resounding _yes. _

"You don't have to do this. It's okay if we just sit together." Shizuo reasons with him. Izaya's eyes dart from Shizuo to the floor and back again before they space off, losing himself in thought. The movie's almost to the middle (has it really been that long?) as the clock on the wall says it's been forty-five minutes since he started it. Shizuo's fingers wrap comfortably in Izaya's, thumb stroking the flea's and tasting the scent of Izaya and body soap on his lips. He won't pressure Izaya any more if he doesn't want to. This isn't just about his needs, as much as his erection aches for attention. Although it looks like Izaya won't be making a decision anytime soon—he looks conflicted because he _wants, _and maybe he's arguing with what he needs. But logic isn't necessarily applicable in love all the time.

"How about this." Izaya's eyes snap to Shizuo and he blinks several times, listening. "If you're ever not comfortable or you want to stop, you tell me. Okay?" He would love to get Izaya out of his clothes, although his shirt on him makes him look even hotter. Restraint, Shizuo. And Izaya's next words are certainly not what he expects.

"Go ahead, Shizu-chan." he breathes almost too quietly to hear. Shizuo catches his gaze—the answer is still the same and there's the slightest bit of doubt. It'll be the blond's mission to get rid of it, he decides to himself.

Izaya starts the kiss when he can't take waiting for Shizuo to do it so he does. His free hand makes its way to Shizuo's shirt and balls into the fabric, pulling himself closer and tilting his head to deepen the kiss. Shizuo responds well with his other hand stroking down the louse's spine and maps the shudders his fingers trigger at certain points. The next sweep downward he finds the spots that make Izaya shiver when he presses and massages. Izaya's breaths catch every so often with the over stimulation his brain can't keep up with and Shizuo manages to keep surprising him by sucking on his bottom lip and licking while his fingers massage.

When he thinks his boyfriend's ready Shizuo introduces his tongue in cautious licks against eager lips. Teeth move away and his tongue meets with another that's not as dominating as his so he lets Izaya control the kiss (another quiver down Izaya's spine) with gentle encouragement. It seems to work because the next thing he knows Izaya's tongue is working against his and following his lead of alternating stroking and sucking. All the while moans start to build and bubble out of Izaya's mouth and into Shizuo's when he can't restrain them any longer. They're incredibly arousing, not to mention sexy as hell to Shizuo and he encourages them when his hand reaches the base of Izaya's spine and pulls him onto his lap and already he knows his erection is prominent. What he doesn't expect is the gasp when their erections brush together and a shamefully needy grind against him because it's not enough for the informant. A smirk leaks into the kiss and his fingers leave Izaya's back to vaguely cup his erection in those sweatpants of his. And Izaya bucks against him, moaning painfully which ends with a breathy whine. Shizuo retreats his tongue and leaves Izaya panting to trail down his chin and to his Adam's apple, nipping and licking against the moans that reward when it feels good and the hitch in his breaths when it's nearly too much.

Izaya's extremely sensitive, Shizuo notices when he moves to Izaya's collarbone and he's trembling lightly before Shizuo reaches the dip in his collarbones. His erection rubs to create more friction against Shizuo's without avail and he pouts when Shizuo has to hold him in place. He can't let the fun be over just yet when Izaya hasn't experienced the best parts. He may be a virgin but it doesn't always mean he doesn't know what he's doing—rather he goes by what Izaya responds to and from there on.

Dipping his tongue in the gap Izaya shivers enticingly, moaning softly as Shizuo sucks and licks and his fingers tighten in Shizuo's shirt. "Sh-ha—ah..." he chokes out on one breath, stirring Shizuo's dick with how erotic he is. He feels Shizuo's hands moving his front, massaging his stomach and brushing his nipples that are hard and aching underneath the too big shirt his need for more is overruling the dictating of logic in his head telling him this is wrong.

"Shizu-chaaahn," a tweak to his nipples with a simple pinch does more than make him arch forward, "m-more, ha—uh." Saliva pools on his lip and spills down his chin to the shirt but he doesn't care. Shizuo's unbuttoning the borrowed shirt with a kiss after every button, rubbing and caressing Izaya's skin and Izaya wonders if he'll lose his mind because of this monster.

"More what?" Shizuo's voice is lowered from arousal and Izaya can feel how wet his sweatpants are. Definitely not a benefit as it chafes against his erection and he just wants it off. But Shizuo has to be the one to make everything more complicated for the stupid things. His mouth is hovering dangerously close to a nipple and Izaya's not sure where he's going with this. Thoughts he still has that are somewhat functional suggest something lewd and he's not sure whether or not he wants to think about it. It's disgusting how his body reacts to such...acts. "Don't think of anything." Shizuo's lips brush his ear and suck on an earlobe—it's too much, stop—and when he pulls back his tongue swipes the saliva on Izaya's chin.

"I c-can't," he pants hoarsely, turning his head so he can avoid Shizuo's eyes that examine and know more than he wants to let on. Brown eyes come up to him and he's caught in a staring contest while fingers knead his muscles in small circles. It feels so strange and terrible because it's messy and revolting how little he can keep himself in character without losing to the sensations he's not used to. What's more annoying is that they feel so good and he can't say this to Shizuo. It's a new weakness he doesn't want or need.

"Izaya, it's okay." Shizu-chan is a mind-reading monster. If it was possible, that is. And the husky quality of his voice shouldn't be affecting him like it does. Arms wrap around him and pull him into a hug, interrupting the sexual tension. Izaya's not sure what Shizuo's doing or why. He's always been this unpredictable and it's not only unfair but hindering to keeping himself above the monster of Ikebukuro. "You're supposed to enjoy this too, you know." The voice in his ears murmurs, waiting until Izaya nods stiffly in response. "Tell me what you want or what feels good."

Izaya's eyes narrow while Shizuo pulls away with a nip at his ear and trailing down his chest. "N—ah, ha," he moans when fingers pinch his nipples. It's no use struggling against Shizuo, that brute. "Shi—t," Shizuo's mouth is too close to the hardened knobs and he's staring, thinking and trying to conclude what's going to happen. But his head's so cloudy and he can barely form a coherent sentence. "Shizu-chan, do-on't—agh!" Trembling fingers shaking so badly (from pleasure and possibly abhorrence) he feels Shizuo rake them in his large ones, moving them to his clothed sides. Shizuo's tongue is flicking against a nipple and the shocks are electrifying and the other is being rolled between fingers.

It's too hot. "Hah, ah, n-no more." He tries pushing Shizuo off and the erection he has twitches with each lick. Embarrassing and degrading, how human his responses are and he can't help the uncomfortable feeling that's not just his pants. Then Shizuo decides to humiliate him further when he starts sucking on Izaya's nipple and it's the catalyst to another growling moan even though he's panting hard and squirming in Shizuo's grasp. "No, Shizu-oooh, too much..."

"Lie back." Shizuo releases his nipple with a popping noise, using his hands to push Izaya down on the floor. When Izaya's below Shizuo it's when he catches red eyes looking up at him like he's asking the silent question he won't say. His face is flushed with desire and his bare chest rises and falls with each pant that filters through his lips. Arms falling to his sides Shizuo can see the flea's shaking for the same reason his shorts are too tight. He wants to reassure Izaya who looks like he doesn't know what to do with himself, but the only way is by continuing. With Izaya as sensitive as it is, he imagines every single touch sends him into over drive—as pleasing of a thought it is, he can't tease his boyfriend too long or it won't end well. But he savors each moment and the sounds; the way Izaya shudders when Shizuo's lips and hands find the spots that make his head fall back like he's about to scream.

"Shizu-chan, that hurts." Izaya whines after Shizuo latches on to him again, sucking and teeth grazing to push Izaya over the edge. So far it's working because he's writhing underneath Shizuo's mouth. "N-unngh, not fair." As much as Shizuo wants to pin him down (it's more primal than it is logical, Izaya hates that) he doesn't, favoring to run his fingers up and down Izaya's sides, dipping in the curves of his ribs to the tips of his hipbone as much as he holds himself over Izaya. There's little distance between them because Shizuo's barely hovering over the flea yet he doesn't for the same reason he wants to give control to Izaya. He's still participating and that's more than enough.

When Izaya whimpers after his nipple is red and raw, Shizuo switches to the other. He can see Izaya's hands struggling in the decision to hold on to him or remain balled into fists on the floor. There's doubt hanging off of Izaya's eyelashes, dripping from his eyes even though Shizuo's reassuring him. Maybe it isn't enough so Shizuo releases Izaya's raw flesh, puckering and hard while quiet moans gurgle in his throat.

"I love you." He's always been blunt and Izaya's eyes widen. It's not like he hasn't heard the confession before but whenever he hears Shizuo say it so easily, the surprise is too evident on his face. "I love you. Even if you don't want to do this, I'll still love you. But I don't want to force you into anything. So just tell me what's bothering you." Izaya, however, doesn't have the gift of being blunt when he's talking about himself.

"I don't..." he shakes his head, eyes drifting off, "it's..." the words are stuck on his tongue and the only thing he can be honest with is his face. There's pleasure blazing his pupils wide and burning his cheeks and yet he's still unsure; still afraid. Although he would never admit to it and try to claim it as something else, Shizuo knows him better (at times) than himself.

Shizuo shifts, moving his fingers into Izaya's hair and cradling his head while he sits on his elbows. "What can I do to make it better? Would you rather be on top?" His voice is still husky from raging hormones and arousal which elicits a shiver from Izaya. If Shizuo looks down a little further, he'll see the tent that's more than prominent in those grey sweatpants. Izaya's biting his lip while he tries to hide it by shifting his legs, somehow speechless for the first time Shizuo's ever known of. It's off, considering the sly and sexy Izaya compared to the careful kisses. It's this, Shizuo sums it up as, that makes him the only person to truly know Izaya. And love him.

"Stop talking, Shizu-chan." he mutters quickly and his voice is uneven, almost rough because he's raw and aching for more of what he's reluctant to give himself up to. "You're starting to sound human." Seeing as he's not going to get anywhere with Izaya as hesitant as he is, he decides to end the conversation by grinding his hips—erections brushing together in a delicious spark of friction that's got both of them moaning—into Izaya's right before he draws Izaya into a kiss by catching his bottom lip, feeling the eager response as soon as Izaya opens his mouth wide enough for Shizuo's tongue to introduce itself again. Shizuo's fingers pull of the borrowed shirt with a couple tugs, discarding it next to them.

Brushing against Izaya's tongue Shizuo hears Izaya's grumbling moan, tasting it and taking advantage by using his hands to urge Izaya's head closer to his. More than a few times teeth are clacking together and Izaya's struggling to swallow his own saliva mixing with Shizuo's, sliding down his tongue. The taste is disgusting and it's far too wet and sticky for Izaya, but the insistent tongue sucking on his gives him little to argue about. Specifically because he's moaning more than he can talk. Disgusting, yes, but it's more shameful how much noise he's making and how good Shizuo's fingers massaging his scalp feels.

Suddenly Shizuo pulls away, trailing a line of saliva from his lips dropping low the further apart he moves and his fingers leave Izaya's hair. When he shrugs his shirt off with a careless motion and leaves it on the floor Izaya's wondering what Shizuo's up to until the brute's off of him and there are arms shuffling under his knees and shoulders. About to ask what the hell the idiot thinks he's doing, Izaya feels the floor leave his back as he's hoisted into the air, moving and dropping on Shizuo's bed with a dull thud.

"What are you doing, Shizu-ch—mmph!" he starts to ask, cut off by lips pressing to his once, twice, three times before a lick to his lips as Shizuo pulls away.

"Trust me." That's what Shizuo says right as Izaya's processing it and opening his mouth to ask but it's too late the moment his sweatpants are sliding down to his knees. Then, there's a feeling of wet heat surrounding his dick and a harsh cry that sounds like a choked whimper results. His organs are churning hot and heavy while blood thickens in his veins and pounds against his eardrums. There's so much—a tongue flicking against the head and—the sounds slip out faster than his brain can register the intensity of the heat from Shizuo's lips. Immediately his fingers slide into bleach blond hair, grasping while he shudders beneath Shizuo.

"Ha—ngh!" Izaya sits up immediately, hunching forward because _Shizuo just put his mouth there_. Through heavily lidded eyes he sees a head of blond, slowly inching forward and more of his erection being swallowed by the wet warmth sucking on the engorged skin. Izaya's fingers claw the bedsheets, unable to hold on when he feels the strangeness of his gut clenching. "Shi-Shizu-chan, s-stop." he almost pleads, voice cracking and thighs trembling.

"Relax," the word is muffled because Shizuo's lips are very occupied and the vibration feels too good and he bucks with his hips almost frantically because the heat isn't enough. He needs _more. _Shizuo, on the other hand, gags and pulls away slowly, suckling until the erection slips from his swollen lips and drips with saliva and precome mixed together. "Do you want me to stop, I-za-ya?" Oh God. If he's not turned on already, then Izaya's the definition of hot and bothered, completed with the sweat beading on his skin.

"Nngh...Sh-Shizu, don't do tha—aht!" Right as he's saying it—admitting he wants more, Shizuo's mouth is back on him and sucking while his fingers stroke the base. If he sucks a little harder Izaya won't be able to keep himself from coming. But it's one thing to tell Shizuo to stop than it is to make him do it when he's so _good _it hurts how swollen he is, leaking in that mouth that's just been on his. Moans are the only noises he can make, whimpering because he's so close and it hurts so bad when he wants just a little more.

"Hah, ah, uh—mmnh," Izaya cries, the muscles of his abdomen clenching and releasing when he feels an orgasm coming. It's rising, building like fire and the coils are tightening, just at the edge—until Shizuo grasps the base of his dick, tight enough that the urge to come is almost completely stopped, just at the end. The denial makes Izaya open his eyes that he's squeezed shut, almost groaning in exasperation at the sly look Shizuo shoots him like the monster he is. "Shizu-chan, that's not fair." he breathes, chest rising and falling unevenly.

"Watch," Shizuo says, raising a hand to Izaya's mouth (what on Earth is he planning now?) and tapping at his lips. Somewhat getting the hint Izaya lets them slide in despite his initial disgust, feeling a hand tug at his erection and he can't keep a whine from escaping. Shizuo probes his fingers over Izaya's tongue, disgusting and he has to comply or Shizuo stops stroking, eventually feeling the rush of blood flow south and pool in his aching penis. Shizu-chan, he decides to remind himself, is an utter asshole. "Get them wet, I-za-ya." The way he says Izaya's voice makes him whine, sucking on the fingers and coating them with saliva. Shizuo decides then to let Izaya know just how hard he is, straining against the shorts he's wearing by taking Izaya's hand that's dropped from his hair, sliding it down his shorts to brush against his dripping erection.

Another moan comes from Izaya, and Shizuo decides it's more than enough. Even with Izaya nearly crazy—like he already isn't—he's starting to feel impatient and pulls his fingers from Izaya's mouth. With his dry hand he makes Izaya watch as he tugs down his shorts, low enough but just above from showing the erection that's pounding with blood. The flea snorts, trying to stifle an impatient groan and murmurs an expletive or two under his breath. But Shizuo likes to make Izaya feel what he's felt for so long.

"Take them off, and then your own, Izaya." he commands—it's Izaya's job, not his. Even though the little shit groans and rolls his eyes, he shifts onto his knees, nipping at the fabric and grasping it delicately between his teeth. Now it's Shizuo who's moaning at the sight, Izaya's devilish red eyes locked with his while he switches on each side, pulling them lower and lower. And when he reaches Shizuo's knees, he gets creative. Somehow they both plan not wearing underwear tonight. What a coincidence.

Izaya suddenly surges up, pushing Shizuo on his back faster than Shizuo knows what the flea's planning and then Izaya's using his hands to slip his shorts off and onto the floor. Exacting his revenge, he uses slow movements and pulls his soaked sweatpants all the way off, flinging them on the floor and cackling at Shizuo's heated expression. All until he's flipped onto his back, and Shizuo's wet fingers rest lower than Izaya's erection and against his hole.

"It's probably going to sting at first. But it'll be fine." Shizuo's index fingers traces around the rim, evoking tremors in Izaya's thighs and his face flushes a dark red, jaw slack and panting like the fiend he is. But Shizuo keeps tracing despite how much he wants to push in now, waiting for Izaya to relax enough to allow him. And when he does, shuddering with a deep breath Shizuo pushes a finger in, immediately feeling muscles clench around him and the heat engulfing him. "Don't tense. Is it hurting you?"

No matter how much he wants to believe Shizuo is a monster, Izaya can find himself irritated at how he reacts to the kindness a monster can use. "N-No, just...uncomfortable." Shizuo nods, slowly thrusting his finger in and out, waiting for Izaya to adjust. As a distraction, his other hand runs up and down Izaya's cock, making the other moan quietly before he stops tensing. And another pushes in. Thrusting in tandem slowly, Izaya's starting to become noisier as the seconds go by of wet thrusting, and Shizuo remembers something important.

"Hold on." Shizuo reaches over, opening a drawer beneath his nightstand and pulling out a vial of clear liquid, letting it rest near his knee while he continues to thrust in and out of Izaya who writhes beneath him after sliding down to lie flat on the bed.

"More, Shizu-chan. H-Hurry up." he grunts, bucking to punctuate his demand. Shizuo rolls his eyes but complies, teasing in a third and the heat makes him feel like he's going to melt. Izaya groans, eyes closing as his head tosses back and rests against a pillow. Moments pass and Izaya's already breathing harder, thrusting back against fingers and Shizuo knows he's ready. With the lube in hand from sitting at his knees he pours some onto his hand, capping the bottle and dropping it on the floor before he rubs his hands together. Coating his erection thoroughly and moving over Izaya, he doesn't push in when Izaya screws his eyes shut and turns his head away.

"You don't have to do this. I won't make you do what you don't want to do." Shizuo cups Izaya's face despite his oily hands, pressing a salty kiss to those lips he craves and staring into those eyes that are more expressive than he knows. What's a relief is that the fear he saw earlier isn't there. A flicker of doubt shadows in the crimson, but then Izaya relaxes with Shizuo's weight on him and his eyes are unguarded for once. Open and expressive: namely lust-filled. But calm replaces the earlier hesitation and Shizuo knows he's done something right.

"I want more, Shizu-chan." he complains boredly, reaching up to bite Shizuo's bottom lip and then draw back. He licks his lips with a daring smile. "So give me more." With a wicked smirk Shizuo nods and draws back to his knees, rubbing his lubed erection against Izaya and loves the shock wave that makes Izaya squirm when he does, exhaling roughly in heated anticipation. Shizuo positions himself, keeping eye contact with Izaya's barely open lids and pushing in as slowly as he can with enough self-control to possibly stop the Earth's rotation. His hands steady Izaya's legs, keeping them out of the way while he slowly sinks deeper and deeper into the expansive heat.

Izaya gasps, wriggling at the sensation of fullness and tightens his fingers in the sheets. Shizuo's next to melting with the heat that draws him in, swallowing his thickness with tight muscles slowly easing him in as Izaya moans and whimpers like a professional whore. At this point, Shizuo's pretty sure it's to piss him off than it actually is as how he is. Izaya's talkative, anyway. Although currently he's unable to say much of anything.

"Are you okay?" Shizuo's voice is low from the raw heat tightening around him and he tells Izaya to relax—it feels better than anything he's ever expected and he wants more and more—no, self-control. Sliding in to the hilt, Shizuo pauses before they continue to let Izaya adjust and doesn't expect Izaya's eyes snapping open, and clenching around him.

"_Move._" he snaps, thrusting roughly against Shizuo as a sign. So Shizuo does, drawing almost all the way out (slowly, no matter how impatient Izaya is) and then faster as he pushes back in. Izaya moans in approval, moving against him and encouraging Shizuo to pick up the pace. Soon they're drowning in moans from either side, skin slapping and taking and receiving. Izaya wants fast and rough, but Shizuo wants slow and sweet so they have to settle for an almost in between with Shizuo angling his thrusts, looking for something in particular.

Shizuo brushes against something important because Izaya jolts, moaning louder than he has been and demanding _more._ And Shizuo gives, brushing against what he knows is Izaya's prostate and angling his thrusts to brush against it. Which, in turn, brings climax faster and faster to Izaya until Shizuo lets up, feeling the tightening around him and opts to stroke Izaya's erection. They're getting faster and faster with the thrusts and the average amount of moans rises sharply.

"Hah, Shizu," Izaya grinds out, dick twitching and stomach coiling as the inevitable begins to gain on him. "I'm gonna..." Shizuo grunts and nods, communicating the same feeling and speeding up his thrusts. Izaya's groaning louder and louder, feeling the end come too close and snapping back with each thrust when Shizuo angles for his prostate and strokes Izaya harder.

"Shizu—I'm gonna come," Izaya states with utter seriousness, pressing against Shizuo and the blond can feel his balls tightening. Izaya's legs wrap around him, pulling him in further The need rises in his stomach, coming to a boiling point where he thrusts against Izaya's prostate so hard the other's seeing stars and panting for more, more, more—

"Shizu—!" Izaya throws his head back, shuddering and crying out, eyes screwing shut so tightly he sees white. Shizuo angles one last thrust against the bundle of nerves, drawing out Izaya's and his own orgasm shortly before he pulls out, spilling on Izaya's stomach with a low groan. And for several moments, neither spoke as they catch their breaths, falling down from the rush of climax.

Before Izaya has to pipe in. "Ew, Shizu-chan. Clean me off." His own come mixed with Shizuo's on his belly isn't the thing he's wanting to deal with, considering he just had a shower. Shizuo, the brute, snorts to cover a laugh at the failed attempt at seriousness Izaya's trying to pull. Reaching over the bed, he grabs his shirt and mops Izaya off, lazily chuckling under his breath while Izaya's contorting face and bruised lips are too funny when he's basking quite contently in the afterglow.

Throwing his shirt into his laundry basket, Shizuo descends to lick off the stickiness that remains, making Izaya giggle like a drunk with his hand weaving into Shizuo's hair again. That tongue teases and cleans, poking at where Izaya's sensitive to exploit him until he's squirming too much and the flea tugs on his hair to knock it off. "Did you enjoy it?" Shizuo asks when he's done, licking his lips and gets up to shut off the movie. Izaya slips under the covers, joined by Shizuo who relocates next to him.

"No. It was terrible, you monster." he deadpans, earning a punch from Shizuo before arms wrap around him, pulling him—very much against his will—into the wall of muscle that is Shizuo's chest, just at his collarbone.

"Not funny." Shizuo pouts, resting his chin on Izaya's head and tightening his grip around him. "But...are you okay? I want to make sure that you..."

"'m fine, Shizu-chan. And before you ask again, yes, I enjoyed it. No, I still don't like being held down." Izaya crawls on top of Shizuo, resting his forehead against Shizuo's chest below his collarbone and they breathe, silent and heart rates calming. And Shizuo starts to realize Izaya's not complaining about touch—he'll still keep his actions comfortable, though.

"I'm sorry." Shizuo murmurs, bringing his arms to wrap around Izaya and rest on the small of his back. "If you don't want to do it or anything, just let me know. I'd rather know what your limits are before I do something stupid." A hand strokes down Izaya's spine, earning a purr as red eyes close. Izaya's sensitive, he remembers. And it's the first time he's done this, so he catalogs it in his brain for later times.

"And if I never want to do it again?" Baiting him, of course. But Shizuo decides not to play along, but use his own game.

"Then we won't. Sex isn't why I'm with you." Izaya's eyes flutter as his cheeks darken considerably and he scowls, pulling the covers over his face and hiding himself from Shizuo's view. "Because," he whispers against the covers and he knows Izaya's listening from the heartbeat accelerating into his skin. "I love you."

Somehow it makes Izaya pop out of his sheets like a mole, suddenly surging forward and pressing their lips together in a chaste kiss that lingers until he's out of breath. He mutters something under his breath which includes something about a monster and his scowl deepens like the color of his blushing. Shizuo tries not to laugh because Izaya's amusing and adorable at the same time.

"I love you too, flea." Shizuo teases, and he pulls Izaya closer.

* * *

><p><em>What is this. I know; it's porn.<em>

_Fun fact: This was originally over 15,000 words._

_Thank you for reading._


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